My Recent Short Autobiography

The story of my life is not like many others. My family is a very dramatic and abnormal one. All that I want is to be successful and take care of my wife, kids, and family to the best of my ability.

 I married an extremely bipolar woman which I argued with on a daily basis about trivial things such as cookies. I have two young boys out of that first marriage and they are the only good things I got from that entire relationship. I divorced my first wife after the fourth time she cheated on me. My mother is schizophrenic, bipolar, manic depressive, and a few more that I cannot recall. My sister also has some mental health disorders such as manically depressed and bipolar. My brother has some issues as well but I am unsure of the actual diagnosis. My brother has been in and out of prison for the last eight years and is currently in recovery from a very bad meth addiction. My father was very short tempered and had constant mood swings but I don’t believe He ever went in for diagnosis. My father passed away on January 20, 2011 from skin cancer. The death of my father was extremely hard on the family but more on me than most. I moved to AZ to see him because that’s where he was being treated for the cancer. My mother was there with us but she was constantly high on opiates making it seem like I was alone. The night my father died everyone including the hospital staff turned to me to ask what was next. I was forced to make all the decisions myself because there was no one else. Two days after my father’s death my mother went into a complete mental breakdown. She started making comments about joining my father and how she felt that she has nobody left. She began seeing and hearing people that were not there claiming that they were outside of her window and laughing at her trying to make her look crazy. To make things worse during this break in reality my mother was also withdrawing from her extreme opiate addiction due to simply running out. Again I was cornered into a position where I was the only person there to do anything so I called a crisis line to report an emergency petition for the mental health of my mother and then I sat holding her while she screamed and cried for about three to four hours until someone showed up to take her for evaluation. She accused me of wanting to lock her away and just forget about her. She even made phone calls to the rest of our family including her father and mother stating that I have locked her up and she needed them to come and help her to get out. My mother’s father drove out to AZ to get her released from the hospitals care and I was hated by both my grandparents and a few other family members. My brother and sister told me that I have done the right thing but they also said things that seemed to contradict themselves. I was left in AZ alone without family and I stayed there for two years. I have never been in to see a doctor to get my official mental state because I am living in the ignorance is bliss state of mind. Although I have never been diagnosed I know that I have something going on that should be addressed. I have constant panic attacks when I go out into public places. The panic attacks have gotten so bad that I can’t breathe and feel as if I may faint at times. I also go through deep depression without understanding of why I am feeling this way. Even though I am constantly dealing with these internal struggles I have developed into a very nice easy going guy. I get along with almost anyone and have rarely had any conflicts with people outside of my family.

 I am now remarried to a wonderful Filipino woman that I met online in a chat room about music. I wasn’t looking for another relationship at that time. We were actually just friends for about two years talking very often almost every day and I just asked if she would be interested in a relationship. I ended up flying to the Philippines to see her after almost a year of being in a relationship. On the third day with her I proposed. It was a long stressful process which costs a lot of money to finish the paper work needed to get her a fiancé visa so that we can be together. We are still currently working on getting the money raised to complete her adjustment of status so that we can then work on getting her citizenship. It has been a long time in the works and very stressful but we are taking it one day at a time. She has now been in the United States for almost a year now and we are very happy together.

I want to be successful in life so that I can feel like all my struggles have not been for nothing. I originally started thinking of becoming a registered nurse so that I can help people and be able to make a good living. While living in AZ I got a job at a medical detox center. I dealt with drug addicts and alcoholics on a daily basis. Most of my coworkers constantly complained of the stress but secretly I felt like I was at home. Every day at work I felt like I was helping my family and I had a feeling of accomplishment at the end of every day. I worked at this facility for two years and because it was a nonprofit state funded business I lost my job due to budget cuts.  Since I started taking this psychology class I have changed what I want and I am taking the advice given to me and plan on changing my major to school psychology.

I want to have a career where I can help others. I don’t want a job that is just like any other job where the workers are like zombies just do work and leave with no sense of accomplishment. I want to go home every day knowing I made a positive impact on somebody and I wasn’t just going through the motions to get a paycheck. I feel like if something isn’t going to be positive then it isn’t worth doing. I don’t want to be selfish by working for my own personal gain and not giving anything back to society. Ever since I experienced the sense of accomplishment I got out of working for the medical detox, I haven’t felt good at any job since then.

The main thing I want is to take care of my family. I do want a job that helps others but I also want to be able to provide for my wife, kids, and family. I have moved into a house with my mother. My wife has agreed with me that we need to be there for her as best we can and we will take care of her, monitor her to keep her out of drugs and make sure that she is current on her psych meds and doctors appointments. I want my kids to be able to have the things I never did as a child, most important thing being an actual childhood.  My two boys mean the world to me and I don’t want them growing up wearing the hand-me-down clothing or having holes in their shoes. I want my kids to be proud of me and see that I would do anything for them.

All that I really want is to be a good provider. I want to provide for my family and provide a service to others in need. I want to be the best person that I can be.