The story of my life is
not like many others. My family is a very dramatic and abnormal one. All that I
want is to be successful and take care of my wife, kids, and family to the best
of my ability.
I married an extremely bipolar woman which I
argued with on a daily basis about trivial things such as cookies. I have two
young boys out of that first marriage and they are the only good things I got
from that entire relationship. I divorced my first wife after the fourth time
she cheated on me. My mother is schizophrenic, bipolar, manic depressive, and a
few more that I cannot recall. My sister also has some mental health disorders
such as manically depressed and bipolar. My brother has some issues as well but
I am unsure of the actual diagnosis. My brother has been in and out of prison
for the last eight years and is currently in recovery from a very bad meth
addiction. My father was very short tempered and had constant mood swings but I
don’t believe He ever went in for diagnosis. My father passed away on January
20, 2011 from skin cancer. The death of my father was extremely hard on the
family but more on me than most. I moved to AZ to see him because that’s where
he was being treated for the cancer. My mother was there with us but she was
constantly high on opiates making it seem like I was alone. The night my father
died everyone including the hospital staff turned to me to ask what was next. I
was forced to make all the decisions myself because there was no one else. Two
days after my father’s death my mother went into a complete mental breakdown.
She started making comments about joining my father and how she felt that she
has nobody left. She began seeing and hearing people that were not there
claiming that they were outside of her window and laughing at her trying to
make her look crazy. To make things worse during this break in reality my mother
was also withdrawing from her extreme opiate addiction due to simply running
out. Again I was cornered into a position where I was the only person there to
do anything so I called a crisis line to report an emergency petition for the
mental health of my mother and then I sat holding her while she screamed and
cried for about three to four hours until someone showed up to take her for
evaluation. She accused me of wanting to lock her away and just forget about
her. She even made phone calls to the rest of our family including her father
and mother stating that I have locked her up and she needed them to come and
help her to get out. My mother’s father drove out to AZ to get her released
from the hospitals care and I was hated by both my grandparents and a few other
family members. My brother and sister told me that I have done the right thing
but they also said things that seemed to contradict themselves. I was left in
AZ alone without family and I stayed there for two years. I have never been in
to see a doctor to get my official mental state because I am living in the
ignorance is bliss state of mind. Although I have never been diagnosed I know
that I have something going on that should be addressed. I have constant panic
attacks when I go out into public places. The panic attacks have gotten so bad
that I can’t breathe and feel as if I may faint at times. I also go through
deep depression without understanding of why I am feeling this way. Even though
I am constantly dealing with these internal struggles I have developed into a
very nice easy going guy. I get along with almost anyone and have rarely had
any conflicts with people outside of my family.
I am now remarried to a wonderful Filipino
woman that I met online in a chat room about music. I wasn’t looking for
another relationship at that time. We were actually just friends for about two
years talking very often almost every day and I just asked if she would be
interested in a relationship. I ended up flying to the Philippines to see her
after almost a year of being in a relationship. On the third day with her I
proposed. It was a long stressful process which costs a lot of money to finish
the paper work needed to get her a fiancé visa so that we can be together. We
are still currently working on getting the money raised to complete her
adjustment of status so that we can then work on getting her citizenship. It
has been a long time in the works and very stressful but we are taking it one
day at a time. She has now been in the United States for almost a year now and
we are very happy together.
I
want to be successful in life so that I can feel like all my struggles have not
been for nothing. I originally started thinking of becoming a registered nurse
so that I can help people and be able to make a good living. While living in AZ
I got a job at a medical detox center. I dealt with drug addicts and alcoholics
on a daily basis. Most of my coworkers constantly complained of the stress but
secretly I felt like I was at home. Every day at work I felt like I was helping
my family and I had a feeling of accomplishment at the end of every day. I
worked at this facility for two years and because it was a nonprofit state
funded business I lost my job due to budget cuts. Since I started taking this psychology class
I have changed what I want and I am taking the advice given to me and plan on
changing my major to school psychology.
I
want to have a career where I can help others. I don’t want a job that is just
like any other job where the workers are like zombies just do work and leave
with no sense of accomplishment. I want to go home every day knowing I made a
positive impact on somebody and I wasn’t just going through the motions to get
a paycheck. I feel like if something isn’t going to be positive then it isn’t
worth doing. I don’t want to be selfish by working for my own personal gain and
not giving anything back to society. Ever since I experienced the sense of
accomplishment I got out of working for the medical detox, I haven’t felt good
at any job since then.
The
main thing I want is to take care of my family. I do want a job that helps
others but I also want to be able to provide for my wife, kids, and family. I
have moved into a house with my mother. My wife has agreed with me that we need
to be there for her as best we can and we will take care of her, monitor her to
keep her out of drugs and make sure that she is current on her psych meds and
doctors appointments. I want my kids to be able to have the things I never did
as a child, most important thing being an actual childhood. My two boys mean the world to me and I don’t
want them growing up wearing the hand-me-down clothing or having holes in their
shoes. I want my kids to be proud of me and see that I would do anything for
them.
All
that I really want is to be a good provider. I want to provide for my family
and provide a service to others in need. I want to be the best person that I
can be.
